Dear Editor,
I was sexually abused, by my aunt’s husband.
My mom died when I was 10.
At that time my dad was incarcerated, and I was sent to live with my aunt, my mom’s sister. As a child I thought so highly of my aunt, and I always wanted to be around her.
However when I was 13, the old man she had been seeing came home from prison, and straight into our home. His grooming began with gifts, money, and manipulation.
He undermined his wife’s rules when I was punished, by secretly giving me access to things such as phone and computer use, and told me to keep it between us.
Over time his behavior escalated.
He began making sexual remarks about my underwear drying on the clothesline and violated my privacy by searching through my belongings, including my purse and digital camera to look at my photos.
When my aunt was upstairs sleep, he would have me come downstairs to sit on his lap and he’d molest me.
One day he asked me to sit on his private area and In that moment, I realized what was happening to me was wrong.
I wrote a letter to my aunt explaining the incident and told her how uncomfortable I felt. I’m not sure how she responded, but I do recall being sent to stay with her daughter for a short period afterward.
While I was living with her daughter, I opened up to her about what happened. She became my only real source of support. When I returned home, he was still there and the sexual abuse continued. I stayed silent because after the first time, nothing had been done to protect me.
The abuse continued from age 13, until I was 17. Whenever I lashed out, my aunt would shut me down saying I wasn’t going to ruin her marriage, and that I needed to respect her husband. When I turned 18, a simple mistake leaving a towel on the bathroom floor turned into a huge argument.
Her husband defended me, and in response, she kicked me out and sent me to live with my grandmother.
It wasn’t until I grew up and became a mother myself, that I fully understood just how badly I had been treated. As an adult, I was present when my aunt told her mother, that her uncle (my grandmother’s brother) had sexually abused her.
My grandmother called her a liar and made her cry.
In that moment, I realized that her behavior was learned, a generational curse. When I reached out to her as an adult to share how this situation had affected me, she ignored my message and told our entire family that I was lying.
Her daughter that I confided in has also turned her back on me, pretending she doesn’t remember what happened.
My maternal grandmother turned on me as well.
She has no relationship with me or my children, because I spoke up. 7 years have passed, and my aunt still hasn’t taken any accountability, yet she still sleeps with a pedophile every night.
Sadly my mother thought she could trust her to take care of me in her demise.
I’m thankful that my children don’t have to endure the trauma that I endured. As a mother, I promise to always be a voice for my children, and shield them from harm.
#TellSomebody
